The Bulls Nose has obtained Boris’s New Years resolutions by sneaking into his private study and unlocking his safe.
Once thought of as an impossible task, due to the combination lock being the number of children Boris has and even he doesn’t know that, we have managed to crack it by trying every number from 1-8.
What you see below is quite frankly a list of New Years resolutions.
He seems to have done it in a weird styling and it looks awful.
We spoke to our in house magazine stylist, who in their professional opinion said, “yeah that looks bad”.
Can you believe that?
We pay them £56,000 a year and “yeah that looks bad” is the best we can get, unbelievable.
Anyway please enjoy a list of things from 1-9 that is vaguely funny and definitely written by the Prime Minister.
And for those of us who cannot read hieroglyphs;
1. New year, no new lockdowns
2. Try to get the new COVID variant for publicity
3. Let no more that 100k die from COVID
4. Play name all 50 my children game
5. Be faithful to Carrie
6. Somehow blame everything on Labour
7. Blame everything on Matt Hancock if that doesn’t work
8. Give interview to thebullsnose
9.Have another holiday and wait for all this to blow over
Please get in touch if you have any New Years resolutions you’d like to bore us with or if you think you can do a better job than our in magazine’s stylist as a role is opening up soon…
