After last week’s shocking revelation that a total of 21 people had voted to take down Her Majesty the Queen’s picture from their private club wall due to alleged links to colonialism, an even more dastardly leak has been uncovered…
Millions of British people are WILLINGLY and deliberately giving away pieces of paper and metal that are adorned with the Queen’s face.
Our undercover report found out that many people, even self-professed ‘royal lovers, have been getting rid of the Queen’s portrait faster than you can say “Oh god where’s Andrew, I told you to keep an eye on him.”
We spent some time in central London trying to get into the minds of these selfish subjects to really understand those who would dare to trade the Queen’s likeness away for such measly things as bread and water. We include in this the many shopkeepers and restaurateurs who would accept such treacherous behaviour in their stores.
Quite a few places when tested did refuse to accept paper or metal items emblazoned with Queen Elizabeth’s resemblance. Although, upon being questioned, they confirmed this was to do mainly with an illness going around. Those involved confirmed they would shortly resume the treasonous act of clawing their grubby hands over the Queen’s precious facial features.
This near blasphemous behaviour has to be stopped. If you know someone who is trying to purchase goods and services using images of the Queen, please contact the police immediately and perform a citizen’s arrest.
In other news, Priti Patel executed a small child today.
