UK Clubs to finally reopen to revellers on 21/06/2027

Clubs in the UK have finally been given the green light to reopen after 47 promised reopening dates have been rescheduled previously.

Due to the global pandemic, nightclubs have remained shut for over 7 years.

The controversial plan to keep nightclubs closed whilst other events and venues have been allowed to be restarted much earlier is a way to further punish the young for being so young.

Not that we have talked to one of them.

But if you follow one of these alleged ‘young people’ on social media, you will quickly realise what started as despair and anguish over not being able to dance and enjoy youth, has quickly turned into talk of revolution and the downfall of capitalism.

This is worrying for anyone who values our current system. MPs will gather today to discuss the right level of dancing to keep a population under control. We don’t want a return to the hippy days of the 70s or the illegal raves of the 90s. 

If you are young, hate clubbing and love greed get in touch with us at whenwilltheyounglearn@gmail.com, we’d love to hear that there are some sensible people still out there.

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