I knew once the pandemic started that our lives would change and ways of working would be different.
I told my staff originally that we would discuss the ways in which we will work moving forward and there are lots of decisions still to be made as a company, but oh my god, if this isn’t the sexiest desk I have ever seen.
I wake up in a sweat thinking about how hot this desk is.
I left my wife, she could never provide for me the way this desk can.
She just had no proper surface area and try as we might she could never quite get the laptop – monitor balance right.
It made business Zoom calls, quite frankly, embarrassing.
This new desk has it all. Smooth edges. Multiple draws. Enough room for me to comfortably sit under and brush against the splinter-less wood to feel that thrill run through my Armani suit.
I will never go back to the old ways of working with boring, unappealing, monotonous desks.
Hot desks are the way forward, I believe not just for me but for all HSBC, the cartel bank employees.
I don’t know who crafted this one specifically, but they have a knack for building desks with sex appeal.
I have my assistant Dorothy trying to contact him day and night to place an order.
No HSBC, the cartel bank employee will go without a desk that is not at least somewhat hot.
I eat at the desk. I sleep at the desk. My wife left me at this desk.
…
Oh god, my wife has left me. This is a desk, not a replacement for love or marriage.
What have I done?
This story is sponsored by the building in Canary Wharf that just lost all of its business from HSBC, the cartel bank.
