“You can work when you’re dead!” Yells Keir Starmer into the street, out of his bathroom window, from which he isolates.
We stood outside Keir’s house as he gave dramatic speeches from famous law film scenes interspersed with seemingly random policy ideas, to which he kept yelling “write that down”.
(Keir Starmer is not actually at risk for Covid-19, Boris just keeps getting Dido Harding to set off his track and trace app).
“Right now we need national unity, we need to get behind the Government and desperately defend the position that the Tories used to hold but they pretended to move further right so we would trip over ourselves to grab the position they actually want”.
Labour’s new plan for worker’s rights has been released today, it includes a really solid foundation of fighting for what was achieved over 80 YEARS AGO.
“Nobody is fighting harder for worker’s rights than Labour right now. Literally nobody. Seriously! The Green Party haven’t tweeted in weeks so presumably the planet is saved, the SNP are too busy with the snow, are the Lib Dems even a party anymore? So we become the de facto number one party fighting for worker’s rights! Suck on that conservative media, you really thought you’d cornered us there but we rose to the Tories challenge and moved right!”
Interested in seeing New New Labour in action?
Click here to see their plan to bring back rationing!
