The DNA test has come back and it’s positive.
The worst thoughts, fears and suspicions of all other passengers have been confirmed when a guy on their only escape of the year from the UK has decided now is a good time to play shitty music off his phone.
It’s actually not even the worst songs, you occasionally recognise one but it’s just the arrogance of some people. You slave away at a desk 49 weeks a year and your only semblance of peace is the fact that you get to go away for 2 weeks to some nice hot country with great food and cracking beer, and some twat has already started to ruin the mood.
You wonder if it’s acceptable to just very quickly open the emergency exit and throw him out, the flight attendant has dismissed this idea quickly, although you can see the others around you are already on board with your idea and grip their belts more tightly.
I mean why your flight, thousands take off every day. Could have been worse could have been terrorists. Oh shit he’s changed it to heavy night core stuff; terrorists probably would have been better, at least there would be no music.
Wear your headphones you think; no you locked them in the hold luggage by mistake, you woke up late and there wasn’t time, you regret that now. Missing the flight would have been better you feel.
You sink your head into an overpriced neck pillow that you only brought for that weird feeling you think bean bags should have. You try to dream of your work desk and a normal day at the office, reminiscing of work makes the pain ebb a little.
You eventually fade off to a nightmare realm of awful music and bad airplane food. You awake to the feeling of water, good you think, we’ve crashed but unfortunately you’re just crying again.
And the music still plays on…
