Donald Trump has announced how Russia didn’t shoot down flight MH17 as that was in Malaysia. (Even though he’s definitely got the wrong fucking plane, I still have to actually report this story.)
The press briefing room today was filled with anger and rage as the US state department deleted their memo condemning Russia and claimed Russia didn’t shoot down commercial airliner MH17, even though they definitely did.
In the shock discovery Trump said this, ‘Russia couldn’t have been behind the downing of the plane as I’m pretty sure that plane went down in the ocean anyway, because we sent ships, loads of ships, the biggest I’m told, to find it, and it never was, but I’m gonna find it. It wasn’t even from Ukraine it was probably nowhere near, Obama couldn’t find it and he spend so much money on that, American money, good money, waste, but I’m gonna find it. I, Donald J Trump will help those poor Dutch get their families back, they will be upset that they’ve been not known where the plane was.’
After several minutes of just screaming by nearly everyone, the room quietened again for Trump to say this.
‘Oh that was a different plane? Well they shouldn’t name them all the same anyway, it’s just too complicated from now on all planes will have a proper name like Eric or Ivanka! Now getting back to flight MH370, the US is going back to find that, we can’t leave it in the ocean, there’s climate change you know!……………shit.
