A publicly funded study that spent in excess of £2.8 million finding out whether listening to certain songs could help the body achieve certain characteristics, has been labelled a failure.
The study undertaken by Kings College London used subjects who had been carefully selected due to their unique abilities to create great Spotify playlists.
The Government has decided to axe the study to free up more money and lab space for Coronavirus vaccine research. Apparently that is more important now.
La Roux, which stands for ‘La’ a note to follow So and ‘Roux’ which is a type of white sauce, had this to say. “This seems like a hell of a small amount of money to spend on something so integral to human evolution”.
Throughout the program’s 10 year run multiple tracks were used to see if they could evolve the human capacity through sound.
Some of the tracks used in the research we have listed below:
Can I get a witness by SonReal – Used to enhance recall abilities for witnesses of certain crimes.
Relax by Frankie Goes To Hollywood – Used as an express laxative replacement
This Charming Man by The Smiths – Used to brighten up dull people’s personality
Common People by Pulp – Used on the upper class to alleviate the deep rooted British class system
Feel It Still by Portugal, The Man – Used as an anaesthetic replacement in operations
DNA. by Kendrick Lamar – Used to enhance police officer’s forensic ability
In total 3 people died during the study due to bullet wounds and one perjured themselves in court.
The class system remains the same.
The 10 year long tax payer funded study has left lots of people questioning if there isn’t a better use of our money and time.
Especially at a time where we could have spent that money on better things like 16.464 hours of European Union membership or saucepans for every household for the NHS ruckus.
