Shamima Begum to present Syrian Springwatch

The much loved and adored British show is going international!

Each episode will be hosted by celebrities from around the world explaining their diverse biomes and the creatures that live there.

Honestly, this is a rough program for the BBC to commission. Although they teamed up with the Daily Mail to do it, I don’t think it will hold enough weight to make it to Autumnwatch.

Since Ms Begum had her citizenship revoked she has looked for a future elsewhere, including hosting mainstream television. Clearly she has a knack for it. After her stint on Iraqi Big Brother she has become a natural. She got the job faster than you could say, “this girl was groomed and radicalised online. Her citizenship should have never been revoked and she needs the state to protect her. It is what I pay my taxes for”.

Here is a short excerpt from the upcoming show.

Episode: Shamima’s Syrian Springwatch

*Cut to desert*

“It’s gone, all gone. A once thriving centre for maths and culture in the Middle East has been decimated by years of coalition bombing.

There is very little left here.

Our flower of the week is sand.

Don’t even speak to me about how we are going to do the big garden bird watch.

I did manage to find a mouse, but it died of a chemical attack. Thanks Bashar.

People often ask me if they should seek asylum in Great Britain, I tell them no. Let the whites have their paradise I say. Try somewhere in Asia. Anyway now they have left the European Union the benefits to living in Britain aren’t worth the cost of travel. Really, it all comes down to the economic stability of a country that has cut itself off from the rest of the world. Everything is mediocre there now. You’ll arrive and be like, “the benefits are better in Greece, the racism is better in France”. Britain is in a nose dive and it isn’t pretty. I’ve revoked their citizenship of me to be honest.

Join us next week for Bill Oddie in Baghdad”

The series’ episode running order will be:

• Shamima’s Syrian Springwatch
• Bill Oddie in Baghdad
• EDL’s, English birds ‘she’s a looker’
• Putin’s Penguin paradise
• Xi Jinping and the Jellyfish
• The IRA build a wetland (for preventative flooding)
• CIA: See Eye Ey, the heart-warming story of animal opticians deployed in warzones

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