“Where would you like to finish next Mr Johnson?” says Keir Starmer coyly, as he gets fucked all over the country

Keir Starmer

Keir Starmer has really opened up recently, mainly to Boris Johnson and his cabinet, as they rail-road him across modern Britain, privatising as they go.

In shocking footage we have obtained of a private Zoom meeting between the Conservative and Labour leaders, you can see this horror in all its glory and let me tell you, there was nothing conservative about it.

Here is the script taken from the video. Each of our interns could only manage one line each before their ears burst.

The video starts with Prime Minister Boris Johnson having Leader of the Opposition over a desk.

KS – “Tell me I am down in polls… say how much my own party’s supporters don’t like me…”

BJ – “You’re down 47 points within the year.”

KS – “Oh yeah, just like that… now tell me how I need to give you control of Liverpool council. I’m a dirty Blairite, punish me in the polls.”

BJ – “Yeah you like that? We’re gonna give Liverpool council control to Robert Jenrick. A city we’re taking control of because of allegations of corruption surrounding property building, something that Robert Jenrick himself has actually been found guilty of.”

KS – “P…please, I can’t take it anymore, I am so close to the mayoral and local elections. Decimate me.”

BJ – “My pleasure. Always an honour giving a hand to my deputy PM (visible wink).”

We here at Bulls Nose News could barely make this article up let alone watch the video footage. Believe us, it is better left in our company bathroom where it can’t hurt anyone.

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