Today the Boris Government announced new police stop and search powers, unfortunately for minorities it’s not so that they get to have more face-to-face police time, it’s so Boris can track down his unaccounted for children.
Speaking to the press earlier today Boris had this to say:
“I’ve decided to become a family man, it’s what this country needs now more than ever. We need unity, in government and in family! So I’m bringing all my children to live with me, here in Downing Street, even the ones born from rape. It’s going to be a jolly good time”.
While his public appearance seemed quite PC, we at The Bulls Nose managed to gain a statement from a cleaner who works in Number 10.
“He’s got everyone running scared, he really wants to find his kids. I heard him yelling that he won’t rest until every European lorry is searched and every burka torn off. Apparently that’s how the rest of his children usually try to hide because he won’t go near the ethically diverse, now he has a police force to do his dirty work. I’m also a child of Boris, there are actually 4 of us working in Downing Street we think it’s better to be close and he won’t look for us there. It’s like when Merry and Pippin by Isengard”.
