Britain has first day run solely on renewable sigh power

Britain has had its first day ever with 100% of power generated by people sighing.

Contributing factors are said to be Boris Johnson being elected Prime Minister and the sun melting everything that could have used power.

The day saw everything related to Boris and Brexit trend on Twitter.

According to top sigh scientist, Michael Yawn, “There was a moment around 2ish when we thought it wouldn’t happen, but the Trump woke up. Delightful result for everyone”.

The largest sigh was seen shortly after BoJo was announced leader, measuring a collective 2.34 gigasighs, it is the largest collective ‘oh fuck’ ever recorded in human history, narrowly beating out the Trump 2016 election and the accidental nuclear missile alert over Hawaii in 2017.

If we continue to move in this direction, top sighers predict that 1/5 of all days could be powered by sighs within the next few years.

“We could really solve the energy issue here people. Keep annoying loved ones, electing politicians the majority hate, and sending shitty memes. Together we can sigh above the hate” – PSY, kpop star and bad-news-energy enthusiast.

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