Large queues have begun to form outside of local pubs, as the excitement for drinking indoors ripples through Britain.
Most people at this point have been able to get to a pub to have a drink outside, and I think we can all agree it’s too cold. No matter how long we’ve been trapped indoors, it’s not worth pneumonia, or worse, a pint with no head.
Now, with just over 350 hours to go till mayday, not May Day but as in, “Mayday, mayday Dave’s had too much to drink and now is crying over his missus saying that he feels the pandemic has forced them together but now we are out the other side he sees the same cracks that were their previously, unfortunately, she thinks she is pregnant”.
With lots of pubs confirming a majority of their indoor space via bookings, there is limited space for those of us who had taken to indoor drinking within our own homes and by the time the Xmas haze wore off all the places had been booked.
Bethany, from Slough, said that she “knew it would totally be like worth the wait to get a seat indoors because it is gonna be super warm and cosy”. That’s why she has decided to camp, with her 5 besties, outside the Devonshire Arms in Kent. “I’m just really excited to be back in a place where I can drink overpriced drinks, eat some substandard food and desperately avoid the unwanted gaze of aggressive and violent men who presume – because I am a woman – I want to have sex with them”.
Me too Bethany, Me too.
Britain, see you in the pubs. Let’s get messy…
